Unnerved

Sun in Taurus x Mars in Leo x Pluto in Aquarius

I just got home from two weeks in California with my family. I brought my laptop with me, but the moment to write never arrived. I’m learning not to force it, to trust the natural inspiration that arises within at the perfect time. Thank you for your patience, and for learning with me 🙏

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I got nervous boarding the plane to San Francisco.

I’ve never been a frightened flyer, and I am a seasoned traveler. I’ve had the tremendous fortune of visiting a great many countries around the world - including some where I would be executed if people knew about my sexual orientation¹ - and yet I have always managed to elude those naughty little butterflies in my stomach.

But this time it was different. Part of me just did not want to leave the relative security of London and submit myself to the authority of an administration whose increasingly arbitrary actions are being blasted all over the international headlines. It’s not that I planned on protesting, or even that I have any particular political alignment to defend. I don’t wish to be “against” anyone, and I don’t want to argue with the necessary presence of sweeping change.

I say this because we fiercely need to feel that things can be better for all of us on this beautiful planet, and business as usual will never deliver this. I want every single person here to experience more love, more happiness, more fulfillment - and that means I cannot consciously create an enemy, no matter how tempting it might be. So I choose to listen to my heart, to accept what I see happening in the United States as part of a much bigger story about the awakening of human potential.

And still, down here in my body, I felt nervous.

I could say that I felt nervous as a same-sex parent, that I felt nervous as a gay man, that I felt nervous as a human rights advocate, even - perhaps most disturbingly - that I felt nervous as a lawyer. And if I felt nervous with my white skin, my professional education and my U.S. passport while on my way to a city famous for its celebration of inclusivity, I could only wonder how much more nervous other people felt.

But that wouldn’t do this feeling justice. Because it wasn’t a surface-level sensation, and it wasn’t grounded in any tangible concern of personal persecution. It was profound, and it was primal. And while I don’t imagine that anyone loves the way that deep fear gnaws at our intestinal tract, I do trust that it’s there for a good reason. So I decided to welcome my fear as a secret stowaway in my suitcase, much in the same way that I have invited it to co-author this missive with me.

I’ve also invited my cosmic co-authors Mars, Pluto and the Sun to contribute. Mars recently crossed back into Leo as it continues to creep through the shadow of its retrograde, and these next few days it sits in a tension-heavy t-square with Pluto in Aquarius and the Sun in Taurus. A t-square looks like a right triangle in an astrological chart, and it forms when two planets - Mars and Pluto - sit in opposition to one another while a third - the Sun - perches at an equal distance from both. It’s a configuration rife with apparent conflict, and t-squares demand aligned action to harness the higher harmony that is always available.

Meet your friendly local t-square! Mars is on the left, Pluto is on the right, and the Sun is up on top.

Looking first to the opposition, Mars and Pluto work together to raise fear and anger into righteous empowerment. Mars loves to get us hot and bothered, and the recently retrograde red planet is now resolving themes of vulnerability in Cancer and visibility in Leo. Mars in Cancer showed us where we don’t feel safe in our (literal and figurative) homes, and it extolled the virtue of protecting those without the means to stand up for themselves. Mars in Leo is now pushing us into the spotlight to claim our courage, and it entreats us to spin tales of valor that motivate collective momentum.

Pluto tells us where we can find our terror, and in Aquarius we may well uncover it in being somehow different from the norm. But if we are brave enough to give our angst an audience, Pluto in Aquarius will generously remind us that there is no “normal” - that we are all different, that we all deserve dignity, that nobody has authority over who we are.

Mars and Pluto can make for an awesomely volcanic flashpoint, a potent place where hidden fear can easily erupt into unchecked rage. Or, if we find a way to work more constructively with explosive energy, this very same hotspot can become a portal to a more humane approach. Mars in Leo can help us use our anger to set clear boundaries about how leaders must respect individuals, and Pluto in Aquarius can help us use our fear of being marginalized as a force for inclusion.

Many astrologers will also tell you that the key to balancing the tension in a t-square opposition lies with the planet that sees them both equally - in this case, the Sun. The Sun holds space for our identity, our radiance, our sovereignty, and in Taurus it appreciates material stability, steadfast loyalty and a slow, patient approach. But with Mars wanting swift action and Pluto demanding deep inquiry, we may well feel we are wedged between a scalding rock and a petrifying hard place.

This captures so much of what I witnessed on my trip. I saw good people trying to do good things. I saw them feeling both afraid of what would happen to them if they spoke out and afraid of what might happen to others if they did not. I saw them doubting whether they were doing enough, whether there was anything to be done at all. I can’t answer any of these questions, but I can bring it back to the language of the soul. Because your soul cares far more about how you are being than what you are doing, and it knows that who you choose to be now will create the world you see tomorrow.

The Sun squared Mars today and will square Pluto on Wednesday; Mars opposes Pluto on Saturday. So as this t-square hangs in the air this week, I encourage you to lean into the values of the Taurus Sun and ask yourself these three simple questions:

1. Can I be more considered in the way I express myself?

2. Can I be more patient in the way I approach others?

3. Can I be more faithful in the way I love the planet?

And if you are being as considered, patient and faithful as you can be, then I want you to know that you are doing enough. I want you to feel proud of who you are. And I want to thank you for playing your part, because this place wouldn’t be the same without you.

Love,

Patrick

PS: If you found value in this post, I invite you to drop a coin in my magical Author’s Tip Jar. It’s an enchanted jar so any contribution you make will come back to you five-fold. Believe it and it’s real.✨

PPS: If you enjoyed reading this, it would help me so much if you could like it, write a comment, repost it or share with a friend. My words for this year are Enriching Community, and it warms my heart to know you’re here with me. ❤️

1. Here’s looking at you, Uganda: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-66645740