I like the new perspective on anger, and your scrunchy face! Roaring and growling is good. . . Showing teeth and claws also good! I often connect anger to frustration—that people or the world aren't showing up as I want, or I can't do as I want, or more deeply, that we're perceiving a split between us and the "outside world" and have given the power over to that separate reality. And it's against us! And dammit, that's not the way we know it actually is in the spiritual realm, and it doesn't compute. More frustration. And along with that, fear (even subliminal terror) that we've lost our connection and are not safe. Perhaps this is why why anger is ofter a cover for grief, panic, and fear. Getting out of anger then is a matter of including all frequencies or possible experiences in one's sphere, and allowing. By allowing even "bad" experiences, we allow ourselves to know what to do physically, and/or mentally, to return to oneness and harmony, to the feeling of the Flow working with and for all involved, instead of anticipating the worst.
Yes! I have a character called "Papa Bear" who does some pretty fantastic growls when he gets angry. I love the way you connect anger with ego and separation, and it's so interesting to notice how anger interacts and connects with other emotional experiences. It's like we get to follow the emotions down to see the original place we felt disconnected from source / universe / God, and of course once you're there you see how you were always loved.
I love how much you're teaching your kids that all emotions are important, and that you have the full range of these feelings. They will likely be very emotionally intelligent adults as a result of these lessons.
Hmm..as a mother of five children and who has definitely felt many moments of anger throughout my whole parenting experience, I have some reflections and I'd like to share my story.
I grew up with a raging mother. Thankfully, she was sober, but she still raged and was very unpredictable (she has Uranus in the 4th house natally in Cancer, and I have Mars conjunct the NN in my fourth house!). I learned from a very early age that she was not a safe person. She let her rage control her, and she had an angry face often. I coped with this in a few ways: I fought back, yelled back, pushed back; I retreated, became quiet, and repressed my light.
Fast forward to when I became a mom--at first, I was so happy, then it got harder, and my own inner rage began to surface, and I, too, began to yell and rage. Mostly I was angry about being poor and felt powerless which made me very easily agitated and just in an aggressive, reactive state all the time.
But, I didn't like being like that. So, I worked really hard learning how to control this temper of mine and this learned behavior and I am so thankful that the Universe blessed me with five children and that I had a handle on it by the third child--the mother my first two experienced was often a mama bear, whereas the mother the last three have is a very gentle mother, who rarely yells and gets angry. Thankfully, none of my children hate me or fear me, and I have healed my relationship with the older two, and we have a healthy, loving relationship with each other.
What shifted for me was the thought of how I wanted my children to remember me. Did I want to be remembered as a raging, unpredictable, angry person, like how I think of my own mother, despite all of her "good" qualities, or did I want to be remembered as compassionate, kind, gentle, and peaceful? I chose the latter and I began working really really hard on becoming that mother, the one I knew I was under all the trauma of my own childhood and the stress of poverty.
The tool I use the most has been the "reset." How fast can I reset from angry to calm, and then from that calm space, talk to my children about why I felt angry? This reset practice has saved me many tears, hurt feelings, and unneeded pain, and it has allowed me to dispense the appropriate consequences that fit the circumstances without coming from an angry place. I feel it also teaches my children by example how to manage strong emotions.
Also, my older children have watched me change and, I guess, grow up, and I think this is important to see that someone can do this.
Thanks for your post! Obviously, it got the thoughts whirring, lol. Love to you and your family. Your kids are lucky to have you.
I like the new perspective on anger, and your scrunchy face! Roaring and growling is good. . . Showing teeth and claws also good! I often connect anger to frustration—that people or the world aren't showing up as I want, or I can't do as I want, or more deeply, that we're perceiving a split between us and the "outside world" and have given the power over to that separate reality. And it's against us! And dammit, that's not the way we know it actually is in the spiritual realm, and it doesn't compute. More frustration. And along with that, fear (even subliminal terror) that we've lost our connection and are not safe. Perhaps this is why why anger is ofter a cover for grief, panic, and fear. Getting out of anger then is a matter of including all frequencies or possible experiences in one's sphere, and allowing. By allowing even "bad" experiences, we allow ourselves to know what to do physically, and/or mentally, to return to oneness and harmony, to the feeling of the Flow working with and for all involved, instead of anticipating the worst.
Yes! I have a character called "Papa Bear" who does some pretty fantastic growls when he gets angry. I love the way you connect anger with ego and separation, and it's so interesting to notice how anger interacts and connects with other emotional experiences. It's like we get to follow the emotions down to see the original place we felt disconnected from source / universe / God, and of course once you're there you see how you were always loved.
I love how much you're teaching your kids that all emotions are important, and that you have the full range of these feelings. They will likely be very emotionally intelligent adults as a result of these lessons.
Hmm..as a mother of five children and who has definitely felt many moments of anger throughout my whole parenting experience, I have some reflections and I'd like to share my story.
I grew up with a raging mother. Thankfully, she was sober, but she still raged and was very unpredictable (she has Uranus in the 4th house natally in Cancer, and I have Mars conjunct the NN in my fourth house!). I learned from a very early age that she was not a safe person. She let her rage control her, and she had an angry face often. I coped with this in a few ways: I fought back, yelled back, pushed back; I retreated, became quiet, and repressed my light.
Fast forward to when I became a mom--at first, I was so happy, then it got harder, and my own inner rage began to surface, and I, too, began to yell and rage. Mostly I was angry about being poor and felt powerless which made me very easily agitated and just in an aggressive, reactive state all the time.
But, I didn't like being like that. So, I worked really hard learning how to control this temper of mine and this learned behavior and I am so thankful that the Universe blessed me with five children and that I had a handle on it by the third child--the mother my first two experienced was often a mama bear, whereas the mother the last three have is a very gentle mother, who rarely yells and gets angry. Thankfully, none of my children hate me or fear me, and I have healed my relationship with the older two, and we have a healthy, loving relationship with each other.
What shifted for me was the thought of how I wanted my children to remember me. Did I want to be remembered as a raging, unpredictable, angry person, like how I think of my own mother, despite all of her "good" qualities, or did I want to be remembered as compassionate, kind, gentle, and peaceful? I chose the latter and I began working really really hard on becoming that mother, the one I knew I was under all the trauma of my own childhood and the stress of poverty.
The tool I use the most has been the "reset." How fast can I reset from angry to calm, and then from that calm space, talk to my children about why I felt angry? This reset practice has saved me many tears, hurt feelings, and unneeded pain, and it has allowed me to dispense the appropriate consequences that fit the circumstances without coming from an angry place. I feel it also teaches my children by example how to manage strong emotions.
Also, my older children have watched me change and, I guess, grow up, and I think this is important to see that someone can do this.
Thanks for your post! Obviously, it got the thoughts whirring, lol. Love to you and your family. Your kids are lucky to have you.