Restructuring Gratitude

Venus in Capricorn x Mercury retrograde in Sagittarius x Thanksgiving

It’s that time of the year (at least in one country) where we get to think about gratitude.

I’m sure you are familiar with this word, and its trendiness in social/commercial media seems to know no bounds. There is even a Cafe Gratitude in Los Angeles (of course) where you can go and give thanks to the bounty of life with a frothy kale smoothie or a gut-friendly açai superfood bowl. And once you pick those pesky chia seeds out of your teeth, you can take selfies with your friends and share with the world how you feel #soblessed to be there.

I went to Cafe Gratitude a few years ago; it was a hoot. And while I can’t say that I found a more heart-felt appreciation for life, my friends and I absolutely loved laughing about the epidemic of performative gratitude that continues to sweep the nation. If only it were as simple as putting your hands together in a soulful gesture, if only gratitude were a hashtag.

But alas, dear Reader, the sky and I are here to remind you that gratitude is hard work.

I write this as Venus - the planet we might most closely associate with warm feelings like gratitude - continues to climb the celestial mountain that is Capricorn. Capricorn demands commitment, diligence and a solid strategy to ensure success, and Venus in Capricorn helps us cultivate everlasting joy through dedication and devotion.

Meanwhile Mercury, our cosmic scribe, has just stationed retrograde next door in Sagittarius. Backwards-moving Mercury invites us all into a period of deeper reflection about how we use words to express the wisdom of our inner voice, and in Sagittarius it will want us to connect more deeply with a felt sense of truth that lights up our souls (and our dancing feet🕺) with inspiration.

When I look at these two together, I can’t help but think about gratitude journals. Perhaps you’ve heard of them, the idea is relatively straightforward: go back over your day and write down a few experiences that you’re grateful for. It’s a simple, elegant and beautiful thing to do. It helps you to start noticing the things in your life that bring you joy, and this shift in attention is priceless.

This is also a good way to start your gratitude practice because it’s uncomplicated. There are so many parts of our lives where it’s effortless to feel grateful, like having a nice meal out with close friends. But can you still be grateful when you get stuck in traffic, your friends bail, and your soup is cold? This is why gratitude takes work. It’s a perspective that’s always available to us at every moment, but we have to choose it.

So I’d like to propose a reinvention of the gratitude journal. What if instead of cherry-picking those easy-to-love moments from our day, we reflected back on the wholeness of what showed up for us with gratitude? What if we found gratitude for the extra time we had to sing in our car, the chance to enjoy an evening meal with ourselves, the humor in a culinary folly?

This is something I’ve been working on for years, maybe even lifetimes. And make no mistake, I am still working on it. I also know that there’s value in sharing what I’ve learned so far, largely thanks to the support and encouragement of my friend

Sandie Sedgbeer

. Sandie and I got together for a second time this week to talk about gratitude, and I’m so delighted to share our conversation with you:

We talked a lot about finding gratitude for things we didn’t wish for, and in the wake of the U.S. election we looked at how gratitude can be a force to bring us back together. In the second half of our discussion, Sandie brilliantly distilled my musings on gratitude into eight principles. Perhaps these principles can guide us all to the next level with our gratitude journals, and I hope they give us all permission to feel more passionate about the way that gratitude can reshape our world:

1. Let go of resistance
   Accept your circumstances and open the door to positive change.

2. Adopt a higher perspective
   Step out of the drama and see the wisdom of the bigger picture.

3. Cultivate empathy and compassion
   Embrace opposing views with understanding and appreciation.

4. Focus on what you know you can control
   Come back to yourself and choose how you want to respond.

5. Seek common ground

   Focus on the shared hopes and values that unite us.

6. Model the change you wish to see

   Embody the grace, wisdom and consideration you want to see in the world.

7. Protect your energy
   Conserve your resources for constructive engagement.

8. Trust the process

   Approach challenges with faith that they are serving a higher purpose.

Happy Thanksgiving! 🦃

Love,

Patrick